“When I say I love you more, I don’t mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us. I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us. I love you more than any obstacle that could ever try and come between us. I love you the most.”
– Photo Credits: Tumblr
“Do you love me?” He asked.
I started thinking, what is love really? How would I know if I love him, or if I don’t? The fact is, I don’t know. And maybe I’ll never know.
But what I do know is, love is an emotion so deep. It’s not just words or actions. It’s much more; both words and actions, thoughts, consideration, kindness and effort.
Love is magical and not an easy occurrence. It is not a happen-to-be but a tremendous effort made to make it happen, to make it last, and to make it thrive.
And my answer to him was, “honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know how love should feel like, and I don’t know if I love you. But what I do know is, if I have to choose someone to love, I’d choose you.”
And maybe that in itself is love. Maybe that is enough.
“I’d choose you.”
“But I still answer the phone each time you call me,
I still smile when I drive past your house.
I like knowing that your soul still has a wilderness
after all of these years have passed us by
And just in case it ever wants one last rebellion,
I still leave the door open for you in my heart.”
Credits: Heidi Pribe, Thought Catalog My Heart Is A House Of Open Doors
You run. Away. Or at least, try. Try to run away. When your mind says no, trust it, leave him.
Like how Taylor Swift’s song goes, “I knew you were trouble when you walked in”, if you know someone smells like a big mistake, leave.
But of course, no, you can’t. And you won’t. Because your heart says yes. So. You walk straight into the trap. His trap. His tug of war, where he makes the rules. And you? You get pulled along.
Some days, you’re happy getting pulled along. Days when he actually makes time to send you a “Good Morning Beautiful” and you never fail to fall for it. Every single time. Damn you.
And the other days, he disappears. He doesn’t text or call, he doesn’t ask how your day went, he doesn’t apologize for not contacting, he doesn’t explain where he went.
But. “Good Morning Lovely” he comes again the following day. And what do you feel? You feel loved again. You feel like he never left. You forgive him. Without him apologizing. Without him asking for it. Without any form of explanation. You forgive him.
A vicious cycle.
It happens over and over again.
Because you let it.
So what do you do when your mind says no, but heart says yes?
I don’t know when I’ll meet you, or if I have already met you, but there’s so much I need to let you know, before you start what I think is called The Chase.
I am a simple person. I enjoy doing things alone; I enjoy listening to music, reading and writing. I enjoy spending time with people; my family, friends and my dog. I hope you don’t find me boring, and I cannot wait for you to come onboard.
I might start to like you after a few days of talking, just because you’re funny. That might not seem right, but sometimes, or maybe even all the time, my heart works faster than my brain.
And when I meet you for the first time after all that texting, I will be nervous. I might shy away a little, but I promise I will be back to my usual self as long as you say something funny as you usually do.
It will be a huge plus point if you send me back to my doorstep on our first date, but if you don’t, I think a “have you gotten home safe?” will be incredibly amazing. I had a great time, I hope you did too. – And that, will be perfect.
Please do not play games with me. Ask me out when you want to, instead of thinking ‘maybe I should wait a week before I ask her out again’. Do what your heart says, and I will too. Tell me that you’re happy when you are, upset when you are, excited when you are, and I will too. Don’t make us a guessing game.
If you’re ready, I am too.