When I Say I Love You More

When I Say I Love You More

“When I say I love you more, I don’t mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us. I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us. I love you more than any obstacle that could ever try and come between us. I love you the most.”

– Anonymous

– Photo Credits: Tumblr

I Hope She Is Gentle

I Hope She Is Gentle

To you, to the one who loved me like no one ever did, and possibly like no one ever will, to the amazing you, thank you and I’m sorry. This is my apology letter, one that should’ve been written long ago, but I didn’t have the courage to.

Thank you for loving me. I am sorry for all that I did which hurt you; it was never my intentions.

I guess I got caught up with all the anger and discontent, I forgot to treat you right, to treat you like how you deserve.

And I am sorry for not being able to love you the way you loved me.

Now, I see that there is someone in your life, and with my deepest sincerity, I am happy for you. Very happy for you. I am glad you found someone who can make you happy, and shower you with the love you deserve.

I hope that she is better than I was, and that she knows better how to love you. I hope that she is warm, and gentle. Because you deserve so much more.

I Hope You’re Happier Now

I Hope You’re Happier Now

I still wonder if you think about me like how I still think about you.

The way your fingers brush against the outline of my face, while you slowly push my hair behind my ears, the way you look into my eyes, and the way your lips caress mine.

Sleepless nights, I often wonder what went wrong. I lay in bed, eyes wide opened, thinking about the good times we had. We were happy, weren’t we? But then you told me that you were tired, that it was difficult, that I was difficult. Was I?

Three months later, I hear from our friends that you found someone new.

I am not sure if I am ready to accept that. I don’t know what I would do if I see you and your new someone on the streets. Should I hide, or act like I don’t know you? And what if our eyes met, would you look away?

I don’t think my heart would be able to handle any of this. The thought of it breaks me. What if I see you looking at her with much more love in your eyes than how you used to look at me? And what if I see you kissing her? How do I look at you without feeling the soft touch of your lips?

I started going out with someone. I don’t know if I actually like him, or if i’m trying to fill the emptiness in my heart. It felt like a part of me died the day you told me you wanted to end it, end us. I tell all my friends that he is the nicest person on earth, and I might really like him, but I don’t even know if I really feel so.

And I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to hug him without feeling your touch. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to kiss him without thinking of your lips. Or anyone else.

But well, I hope you’re happier now.

Or at least, I am trying.

I’m still trying.

Fall In Love With Someone Who Makes You Laugh

Fall In Love With Someone Who Makes You Laugh

“Relationships can, and should be the reasons why we are so incredibly happy.

We should love life, and our significant others. And the people we choose to fall for should make us celebrate living even more than we would on our own, because now we have someone to celebrate with. You need to fall for someone who makes you laugh. Someone who brings the best out of you in every situation, who always gives you a reason to smile. Someone who drags you out of your worst moods and who can save you from your deepest pain.

Fall in love with someone who reminds you, every single day, what a joy it is to be alive.

Fall in love with a person who’s going to crack jokes at the worst times, who’s going to connect with your sense of humor, who’s going to turn your anxiousness into ease, your fear into confidence. Someone who will love you for you, and keep you that happy, carefree you for the rest of your days together. Because our time on earth will be short, and only laughter and love will get us through.”

– Thought Catalog, Marisa Donnelly

I Want To Be The One You Come Home To

I Want To Be The One You Come Home To

“Home is not a place, but two eyes and a beating heart.”

I want to be the one who cooks you a sumptuous meal after a long day at work.

I want to be the naggy old lady who reminds you to stay kind and humble despite our mini successes.

I want to be the woman who holds you rooted to the ground and carries you up when you achieve something you deserve.

And even when you don’t, I want to be the one who you’ll run to for a hug just because there will be days where you’re tired of life.

I want to be the one to teach your (our) children the right values in life, and to guide them.

I want to be the one who takes your parents out for good meals and buys them gifts.

I want you to do that for my parents too.

I want to be the old and wrinkly lady whom you’ll still say “you’re beautiful” to even after more than 50 years of being together.

And regardless of all the possible hardship and difficulties we might face in time to come, I want to be the one you’ll come running home to.

Photo Credits: Pinterest

What If We Never Met

What If We Never Met

I’ve always wondered how life would be like if I had made different choices along the way. If I found a job right after I graduated and never got a chance to join my current workplace. If you broke up with her earlier, and met someone else before you met me. If he came into my life before you did. Would things be different now?

Before I met you, I was that girl who felt strongly for this: If things didn’t work out because the timing was wrong, maybe he just isn’t the one. “He had to go overseas so we broke up.” – That was probably because you just didn’t love each other enough. “He was young and wild, it was difficult to hold on to such a relationship.” – Maybe it’s just that both of you are not compatible.

Because the truth about the timing being wrong is that it’s nothing more than the world’s flimsiest reason not to try.” – Heidi Priebe

But maybe.. I was wrong.

After I met you, I became the girl who realise that every action I make would have a consequence, and that could mean we might have never met. Time mattered. And still does. If I studied an extra year at school, or if I continued with my previous job which I loved dearly, or if you went on to do something else that interests you more than your current job, we would have never met. Just one small decision; that could change our lives forever…

I believe that there is someone out there for everyone. There has to be. Despite geographical boundaries, age, time, and all the other possible differences, you will eventually meet someone special. And with that being said, even if we have had made different choices, our paths might still cross one day, if it was meant to be.

But the slightest thought of us never meeting each other scares me. In fact, the thought of us meeting 10 years later instead of now scares me as well. Now is the time we fall bravely in love, the time we allow ourselves to be vulnerable to someone; so vulnerable that you think you’re going crazy, but jump in head on anyways, because.. love. I’ve never felt so happy. I’ve never been more sure. So sure of taking on an uncertainty, because I know you’ll be here not just for me, but also with me, and we will brave through whatever comes together. And maybe that is enough. And with this fuzzy feeling in my heart, I’m glad for all the decisions you and I have made in our lives, which brought us together so that we could meet and fall in love.

To the future. Our future.

Someday

Someday

“I hope someday I’d have the chance to bring you to dinners with my girlfriends and they’ll talk about how lucky I am to have caught you. I hope someday you’ll bring me to one of your family parties. I’d be dressed up in a nice cocktail dress and you’d be suited up in that tuxedo, and your cousins would tell us how good we look together. And you’d just spend the entire night telling me how proud you are of me.”

Credits: http://thoughtcatalog.com/femar-malones/2016/05/i-hope-one-day-we-can-meet-again-and-give-us-a-chance/ – Femar Malones

The Other Side Of The Bed

The Other Side Of The Bed

3am.

I kicked the blankets off my legs and turned to my sides. My hands reached over to the other side of the bed, trying to grasp for something, someone. Emptiness. There was emptiness.

115 days.

It has been 115 days since I spoke to you. 117 days since I last saw you. 203 days since you last laid here with me. 203 days since you last held me close to you.

I lay in bed wide awake, reminiscing the nights we spent together. We would stay up late into the nights talking about everything and anything. The future, our future; how many kids we would like, what car we would get, how many dogs we should have, the kind of house we would get and the countries we want to visit.

It was us against the world. We were happy, we were spontaneous and we were.. together. At the very least, we were together.

I sat up in bed and hugged my knees. I miss you so much. So damned much. I thought we had it all. I thought you were the one. The last one. I thought.. you loved me. But I guess I was wrong.

And now I lay in bed trying to recall how life was like before you, how life was like when I didn’t have a face to look at in the mornings, how life was like when the other side of the bed was still empty. I don’t know how I’m going to get used to this, but I will try, even if I fail, I will continue to try. But regardless, I’m still thankful for you. For all that you have given me, thank you.

Photo source: Tumblr

I’m Surrendering To Love, I’m Going All In

I’m Surrendering To Love, I’m Going All In

“Because I’m taking a chance.

Because life is too short to always know where you’re headed, too short to be afraid to fall, too short to be selfish with your heart.

Because not planning can be exciting and fun. Because love is one of those things you just jump into fearlessly, and without a guidebook or map.

Because sometimes you don’t need a guidebook or map. You just need your heart, your brain, and the faith in something bigger than yourself.
So I’m going for it. I’m going all in.”

Source: Thought Catalog, Marisa Donnelly http://thoughtcatalog.com/marisa-donnelly/2016/05/im-surrendering-to-love-im-going-all-in/

This Magical Thing Called Love

This Magical Thing Called Love

“I loved being in love with him. Love is easy and strange. I would ponder it on rattling tube trains, on crowded buses, at work – what was it about him that produced this effect on me? I could never decide definitively and had lists of both generalizations and detailed particulars: I loved his generosity, his ability to laugh at himself, his determination, the way he could unequivocally apply himself to any task, his impulsiveness, and how he could find humour in any situation. But yet, I also loved the way he rubbed his hair in a circular motion when he was tired, how his upper lip would stick out when he was cross, that he couldn’t go to sleep unless he had a glass of water by the bed, and that he was constantly surprised by how much food he could eat.”

after you’d gone – Maggie O’Farrell