When I Say I Love You More

When I Say I Love You More

“When I say I love you more, I don’t mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us. I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us. I love you more than any obstacle that could ever try and come between us. I love you the most.”

– Anonymous

– Photo Credits: Tumblr

I Hope She Is Gentle

I Hope She Is Gentle

To you, to the one who loved me like no one ever did, and possibly like no one ever will, to the amazing you, thank you and I’m sorry. This is my apology letter, one that should’ve been written long ago, but I didn’t have the courage to.

Thank you for loving me. I am sorry for all that I did which hurt you; it was never my intentions.

I guess I got caught up with all the anger and discontent, I forgot to treat you right, to treat you like how you deserve.

And I am sorry for not being able to love you the way you loved me.

Now, I see that there is someone in your life, and with my deepest sincerity, I am happy for you. Very happy for you. I am glad you found someone who can make you happy, and shower you with the love you deserve.

I hope that she is better than I was, and that she knows better how to love you. I hope that she is warm, and gentle. Because you deserve so much more.

I Want To Be The One You Come Home To

I Want To Be The One You Come Home To

“Home is not a place, but two eyes and a beating heart.”

I want to be the one who cooks you a sumptuous meal after a long day at work.

I want to be the naggy old lady who reminds you to stay kind and humble despite our mini successes.

I want to be the woman who holds you rooted to the ground and carries you up when you achieve something you deserve.

And even when you don’t, I want to be the one who you’ll run to for a hug just because there will be days where you’re tired of life.

I want to be the one to teach your (our) children the right values in life, and to guide them.

I want to be the one who takes your parents out for good meals and buys them gifts.

I want you to do that for my parents too.

I want to be the old and wrinkly lady whom you’ll still say “you’re beautiful” to even after more than 50 years of being together.

And regardless of all the possible hardship and difficulties we might face in time to come, I want to be the one you’ll come running home to.

Photo Credits: Pinterest

Someday

Someday

“I hope someday I’d have the chance to bring you to dinners with my girlfriends and they’ll talk about how lucky I am to have caught you. I hope someday you’ll bring me to one of your family parties. I’d be dressed up in a nice cocktail dress and you’d be suited up in that tuxedo, and your cousins would tell us how good we look together. And you’d just spend the entire night telling me how proud you are of me.”

Credits: http://thoughtcatalog.com/femar-malones/2016/05/i-hope-one-day-we-can-meet-again-and-give-us-a-chance/ – Femar Malones

The Other Side Of The Bed

The Other Side Of The Bed

3am.

I kicked the blankets off my legs and turned to my sides. My hands reached over to the other side of the bed, trying to grasp for something, someone. Emptiness. There was emptiness.

115 days.

It has been 115 days since I spoke to you. 117 days since I last saw you. 203 days since you last laid here with me. 203 days since you last held me close to you.

I lay in bed wide awake, reminiscing the nights we spent together. We would stay up late into the nights talking about everything and anything. The future, our future; how many kids we would like, what car we would get, how many dogs we should have, the kind of house we would get and the countries we want to visit.

It was us against the world. We were happy, we were spontaneous and we were.. together. At the very least, we were together.

I sat up in bed and hugged my knees. I miss you so much. So damned much. I thought we had it all. I thought you were the one. The last one. I thought.. you loved me. But I guess I was wrong.

And now I lay in bed trying to recall how life was like before you, how life was like when I didn’t have a face to look at in the mornings, how life was like when the other side of the bed was still empty. I don’t know how I’m going to get used to this, but I will try, even if I fail, I will continue to try. But regardless, I’m still thankful for you. For all that you have given me, thank you.

Photo source: Tumblr

I’m Surrendering To Love, I’m Going All In

I’m Surrendering To Love, I’m Going All In

“Because I’m taking a chance.

Because life is too short to always know where you’re headed, too short to be afraid to fall, too short to be selfish with your heart.

Because not planning can be exciting and fun. Because love is one of those things you just jump into fearlessly, and without a guidebook or map.

Because sometimes you don’t need a guidebook or map. You just need your heart, your brain, and the faith in something bigger than yourself.
So I’m going for it. I’m going all in.”

Source: Thought Catalog, Marisa Donnelly http://thoughtcatalog.com/marisa-donnelly/2016/05/im-surrendering-to-love-im-going-all-in/

This Magical Thing Called Love

This Magical Thing Called Love

“I loved being in love with him. Love is easy and strange. I would ponder it on rattling tube trains, on crowded buses, at work – what was it about him that produced this effect on me? I could never decide definitively and had lists of both generalizations and detailed particulars: I loved his generosity, his ability to laugh at himself, his determination, the way he could unequivocally apply himself to any task, his impulsiveness, and how he could find humour in any situation. But yet, I also loved the way he rubbed his hair in a circular motion when he was tired, how his upper lip would stick out when he was cross, that he couldn’t go to sleep unless he had a glass of water by the bed, and that he was constantly surprised by how much food he could eat.”

after you’d gone – Maggie O’Farrell

Thank You For Being My Infinity

Thank You For Being My Infinity

One night,

We’re gonna be sitting under a sky full of stars.

I’ll lay on your chest, while you play with my hair.

I’ll look into your eyes, and wonder what I ever did to deserve this,

to deserve you.

After all these years of being hopeful, and somewhat disappointed,

I never thought I would find someone like you,

someone so amazing like you.

That one night,

when we look up at the sky full of stars,

we will be thankful for everything we have.

With a smile plastered on my face,

I will thank you, everyday, for loving me, for being kind, for being you.

That one night

when you plant a kiss on my lips, everything will be infinite. 

Thank you for being my infinity.

Lost Chances

Lost Chances

For the very first time, you held my hand the other day. I moved away because I didn’t know if it was what I wanted anymore. Butterflies in my stomach, I told you, “What took you so long to realise?” You didn’t say anything. We continued walking in our own paths, not touching, not making any eye contact, not saying a word.

“I knew. All along, I knew.” You gently nudged my hands again and swiftly pulled me closer by holding me at my waist.

This time, I didn’t move away.

I felt that tingling feeling from your cold fingers. It felt nice, but it felt strange too.

You sent me back that night. We reached my door step, our fingers still interlaced. I haven’t figured if this is what we should be doing, but I stood there while you held me. I didn’t budge. I didn’t push you away. I didn’t want to. I wanted to know what I was feeling.

That night. I was confused. I’ve always wanted you to hold me, and you never did until that day. Instead of feeling excited for that kiss you might plant on my cheek, I was worried. I’m sure you felt my anxiety when I turned away as you came close.

“I had fun tonight, thank you, for being you.” You said to me, looking into my eyes, while I was finding ways to look away.

My heart ached as I took a step back. I walked through the door with a simple goodbye. That was it. All the excitement built up within me for the past one year, somehow it wasn’t there anymore. I’ve always wanted this. Or so I thought. But I guess I got tired of waiting for you to notice me. Subconsciously, I got so tired, I got over it. Over you. Finally. So now what?

That Day When I Told You To Take A Chance

That Day When I Told You To Take A Chance

That day. I wasn’t drunk. I was drinking at a friend’s wedding. But I wasn’t drunk. I was crying because I was so happy for her. She finally got married to the man of her dreams. Someone whom she told me she might possibly love for the rest of her life.

Isn’t marriage such a wonderful thing? Two people, in love, pledge a vow, and become one. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part.

I love weddings, I love the idea of marriage; two people coming together to commit to something, to brave through storms and whatever nots together. Always, together.

That day. I wasn’t drunk. But I texted you anyway. Maybe I was trying to use being drunk as an excuse to tell you how I felt. How I’ve always felt.

I told you that I was at a friend’s wedding, and you asked when will mine be. And so I said, “when someone proposes to me. Are you up for a challenge? Are you willing to take a chance?”

You didn’t respond.

A part of me wished that you were seriously thinking about it. But a part of me knew, you chose to brush it off, so as to not spoil our friendship. I apologize for my ‘drunk texts’. For asking you to take up the challenge you never thought about, the chance you never wanted. But, I just thought you should know, I love you anyway.