When I Say I Love You More

When I Say I Love You More

“When I say I love you more, I don’t mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us. I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us. I love you more than any obstacle that could ever try and come between us. I love you the most.”

– Anonymous

– Photo Credits: Tumblr

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When We Reached The End

When We Reached The End

I toss and turn in my bed. Sleepless nights. Eyes dry from all the crying. I turn to the face beside me, trying to find some form of solace, but all I could feel from the view of his back, was coldness. Bitting my lips, I close my eyes and try to fall asleep.

Things weren’t always like this.

We met about a year ago. At a coffee house near my place. He came over to speak to me, and we clicked almost immediately. I felt like he was my soulmate. Such an overrated word, but yes, I found my soulmate. Or rather, I thought I did. He was very nice to me. He was smart; our conversations were always intellectual and challenging, and I always enjoyed talking to him. He was kind, and chivalrous, honestly it was difficult to not fall in love with a man as charismatic as he was. But as they say, “we should love, not fall in love, because everything that falls, gets broken”. And so, I fell.

Months went by and everything was great. We were just like the normal couples. We went for dinners, movies, gym. There were flowers, gifts, surprises. There was so much excitement and happiness. At one point of time, I even thought to myself “this could be it, he could be the one”. I don’t know when it started but soon after, everything started crumbling.

Maybe it was because we passed the so called honeymoon period. Maybe we got too comfortable with each other. Maybe we started taking each other for granted. All the habits or gestures we once found adorable started to annoy us. His burps became one of the things I would chid him for. As well as the way he speaks with confidence I now find so arrogant. He used to like me for my candidness, but now all he says is how demanding I am. I don’t know where we went wrong, and I don’t know how all these quirky things we used to like about each other turned into things we now blame each other for.

At first it was the minor arguments. Then some more arguments. The frequency increased, the volume increased, the vulgarities increased. In a blink of an eye, arguments escalated to heated quarrels. It felt like it was inevitable before one of us exploded. So someone did.

This continued for months. And here we are now, on the same bed, with our backs against each other. Not knowing what to do next. Not knowing how to salvage the situation. Not knowing how to turn back time and restart from when everything was still peaceful.

I don’t know what I can do to make things work, but maybe if I keep trying, it will be enough. I love him, and maybe that is enough. Under the sheets, I reach out to him and put my hand over his chest. Tears welled up in my eyes and I whispered, “I miss you, and I love you.”

The Non-Relationship

The Non-Relationship

“13. The one you placed on the pedestal

Sure, the guy who took me to the five-star restaurant, gave me the best orgasm of my life and made me laugh until I cried was great. But he’ll never be Jake.

For all intents and purposes, we all have a Jake. He — or she — is a past love we’ve planted on a throne that no future person could ever reach.”

Source: http://elitedaily.com/dating/non-relationships-millennials/1109332/

That Girl

That Girl

“Claire told me.”

For the first time, today, you mentioned her name. Who is this girl? Yes, it got me anxious. More anxious than I should be.

“Claire came over today. She got me lunch.”

“Ahh, that’s so sweet of her!” Well, I can too.

Once, twice, thrice, and more. Her name started appearing more frequently in our conversations, and honestly, I didn’t like it. I hated it. Stop talking about her, I don’t want to know.

“So what did she bring you this time?” 

“Steak and baked potatoes. I love steak.”

It killed me to see his eyes beaming. It was like I was having a physical battle in my mind. My inner bitch starts to curse at her, while I continue smiling at him.

As he continued to speak of her, I could feel it. He reminded me of someone. Me. He reminded me of myself. When I speak about him to my friends, this is how I look. My eyes shine, my lips can barely not break into a smile, and sometimes I get too excited. Because of him. And now him, because of Claire. Because of that girl. No.

Chances

Chances

“I wonder what it’s like to have to move on, but knowing that you’ll always want him over anyone else. Well, when you finally find him, when he makes you happier than anyone else, never let him slip away. Hold on with everything you’ve got, and fight till the very end. Because all your life, you will have him at the back of your mind. Sure you’ll love again, but will it be the same? Never. Because he was the one.”

– Tumblr

Soul Mates

Soul Mates

I don’t know how you are so familiar to me – or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before – in another time, a different place – some other existence.

– Lang Leav, Love & Misadventure

Here Is How I Want To Fall In Love With You

Here Is How I Want To Fall In Love With You

“I want to text you back too quickly. I want to laugh out loud at the words that cross my screen, and feel no shame letting you know that I’ve heard you. I appreciate your mind, your thoughts and your words, and I take no hesitations in adding my own. I may always be a person who laughs too loudly, answers too quickly and sends too many texts than my more cautious friends would recommend, but if its games you want to play then you can find another woman. I will say what I want, when I want to, and I’ll always hope you will do the same.”

– Heidi Priede, Thought Catalog

Image from: http://www.justinstum.com