3am.

I kicked the blankets off my legs and turned to my sides. My hands reached over to the other side of the bed, trying to grasp for something, someone. Emptiness. There was emptiness.

115 days.

It has been 115 days since I spoke to you. 117 days since I last saw you. 203 days since you last laid here with me. 203 days since you last held me close to you.

I lay in bed wide awake, reminiscing the nights we spent together. We would stay up late into the nights talking about everything and anything. The future, our future; how many kids we would like, what car we would get, how many dogs we should have, the kind of house we would get and the countries we want to visit.

It was us against the world. We were happy, we were spontaneous and we were.. together. At the very least, we were together.

I sat up in bed and hugged my knees. I miss you so much. So damned much. I thought we had it all. I thought you were the one. The last one. I thought.. you loved me. But I guess I was wrong.

And now I lay in bed trying to recall how life was like before you, how life was like when I didn’t have a face to look at in the mornings, how life was like when the other side of the bed was still empty. I don’t know how I’m going to get used to this, but I will try, even if I fail, I will continue to try. But regardless, I’m still thankful for you. For all that you have given me, thank you.

Photo source: Tumblr

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